Saturday, March 11, 2006

Into the breech, dear friends

As this whole pregnancy thing continues to run along unabated, with my little "chimp" off the old block now a little more than a month out from his (or her's) expected touch down on terra firma, terms I had perhaps heard in passing through expectant friends but had absolutely no knowledge of like 'breech birth' and 'Caesarian section' have suddenly taken on a weight greater than anything else in mine and Wendy Lu's lives.

This entire experience has just been so smooth and hiccup-free thanks to my bride's superb health, her ongoing exercise regime and eating habits (that frankly put mine to shame)...that somewhere, somehow in my mind, it's almost as though I expected the kid to pop out not only without any sort of complications, but toilet trained, walking and already asking me to take the car out Saturday night.

Each doctor's appointment has been better than the last, as the quasi-Western Isida Clinic has lived up to the billing as the best option (by far) available in Ukraine's capital.

As evidenced by the latest ultrasound photo included in this transmission, our wee one has developed into quite the adorably sleepy baby bundle o' joy (patent pending).

And yeah, talking this way about a kid still requires more than a bit of wrapping around the cerebral cortex for me...I'm a guy, dammit. A man's man. I never felt this way about babies, nor did I ever have any plans to... and I was fine with that, thank you. But it seems that Mother Nature had other plans beyond just getting mama all revved up and ready to go with the nesting and the milking. Rebuilding the dad-in-training here piece by mental piece has actually put me front and center in this whole baby thing.

I've found myself actually enjoying being around kids ever since we found out that we were parents to be while visiting the Emerald Isle last fall. I can't stress this enough...I've actually LOVED being around other people's offspring, much less our own baby to be. Even writing it now, it still surprises me.

But back to my fears and the way I deal with the subsequent anger that unfortunately seems to always bubble up to the surface and get blasted at Wendy Lu...the absolute last person in the world that should have to deal with my shit in that regard right now. Does this breech thing scare me? Oh, you better know it. I understand how important natural childbirth is to my wife, what it means to her in not only concluding this part of the parenthood experience, and in that initial bonding with our new family addition. Thankfully, we've still got time for the baby to turn before we even have to consider the possibility of a c-section.

In the meantime, I've simply got to buckle down, get over this feeling of helplessness and grit my teeth to keep my focus where it should be...on caring for the two most important people in my world.

Call it my first lesson in being a dad. Those salad days of living for me and my small scale gamma irradiated-like tantrums are over. Selfless is the new sheriff in town, ya big dumb bastard...selfless.

you wouldn't like me when i'm angry.


Anonymous Lisa-Jo said...

Hey Christopher - I was looking at Wendy Lu's site and came accross your blog. Didn't know the little bambino was currently lying breach - but now that I do we will certainly be focusing our prayers for you in that regard. Parenthood is wild my friend!! Suddenly you ARE superman/girl. You can do things you never dreamed without batting an eye! You and Wendy will shoot this rapid and many more to come with joyful abandon. I promise. The brain is a powerful thing and when it is all focused on the little one's well being it is surprisingly disinterested in your own associated pain. We discovered this towards the end of Jack's delivery which got a little tricky. And all I remember from that day is the unspeakable JOY and LOVE that course through me at the mere memory!! Your heart we ache so bad sometimes for your little bambino you will be sure it must bust - but amazingly it doesn't. Just gets bigger and tougher. We love you guys - all three of you! Lisa-Jo

5:04 AM  

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